User blog:Blue Jay Superior/This
Jay: *wakes up* Well that was disturbing! Charlie: What was? Jay: The first season of Q&- Hey, what are you doing in my igloo? Everybody jumps up, yelling surprise. Pixie: Happy birthday! Jay: My birthday was 6 months ago... Long silence. Gary: Well this is awkward... Everybody starts walking out with all of the party supplies. Jay: WAIT! Everybody turns around. Jay: -_- Leave the cake... The PSA goes into a war over who gets the cake. ADL: Pie is better. *walks out* Jay: WAIT! Everybody stops fighting. Jay: What flavor is the cake? Gary: Coffee flavor! Everybody: Ugh. The cake is given to Gary, and they all walk out. Gary: Just kidding! It's chocolate. Everybody runs back in. Jay: I think I know who should get it! Everybody turns to Jay. Jay: Me... It says "Happy birthday Jay" on it. Gracie: Uh, actually, it says "Happy birthday Helmet" on it. Jay: O_O Why? Gracie: We were planning a surprise party for Helmet, but then we got bored, and made it a surprise party for you. Jay: Uh... I'll just pretend that makes sense... Helmet: *grabs the cake and runs away* Snobot: Sir, a message has been received on your computer from USER-8018. Jay: USER-8018? That can't be good... Charlie: Why? Who's USER-8018? Jay: Jet Pack Guy. Locy: That joke hasn't been made in, like, forever. Jay: Can I see this message? Snobot: No. Jay: Why not? Snobot: You instructed me to destroy your computer if USER-8018 sent you a message. Jay: I did? When? Thirteen months ago... Snobot: Would you like me to destroy your computer if USER-8018 sends you a message? Jay: *not listening* Sure. End of flashback. Jay: Well, that was an odd request... Snobot: Your orders, sir. Not mine. I totally didn't come up with this. Jay: I didn't ask if- Snobot: *shapeshifts into a boom box and plays loud music* SORRY, WHAT WAS THAT, I CAN'T HEAR YOU! Jay: Wait! You can shapeshift! Snobot: Affirmative, why? Jay fixes the computer with Snobot replacing the broken parts. Snobot: Be glad I'm only a robot who doesn't have to survive on food, therefore not needing a job to get money where I would be right now if I weren't a robot. Jay: Just show me the message... Computer: Father, you must find me... *static* I am trapped in *static* and I will not *static* if you don't *static*! Jay: Why did he write "*static*" on this message in all the crucial-to-the-message parts? Snobot: How should I know, I'm only a highly intelligent shape shifting robot that can know everything about an individual of any species. Jay: Good point... Well, I guess I have to find him and "be a good father" or something. How long should this take? Snobot: Approximately the rest of this season, sir. Jay: DANGIT. Might as well do other stuff in the meantime. Snobot: Are you hungry, sir? Jay: Yeah, I'll go get some pizza. Jay goes to the Pizza Parlor. Jay: Wait, why am I getting pizza, I just woke up- Pizza Parlor Worker: *halfheartedly* Hello, welcome to the Pizza Parlor, where we serve you pizza. Such a lame motto... Jay: Hmm... There are so many things to choose from the menu... The menu only has one item on it. Jay: Hmm... Pizza Parlor Worker: Are you done deciding yet? Jay: Sure, I'll have a pizza! Pizza Parlor Worker: Okay. Good decision, that's my favorite. Jay: *looks at name tag* Your name is Catherine? My name's Catherine, too! What a coincidence! Catherine: ...uh... Jay: Long story, now can you please make that pizza? Catherine: Sure! Pizza Parlor Manager: *tells Catherine something* Catherine: Sorry, we ran out of pizza. Jay: Uh, don't you have to make it first- Catherine: *tosses Jay out of the window* DON'T QUESTION ME!!! Jay: Uh, that was weird... Faye: *is crying next to the Pet Shop* Jay: Still sad that Kris died, huh? Faye: *sadly nods* Jay: You know what, I'll help you revive him. Faye: You would do that? Jay: Yes, yes I would. Faye: How? Jay: Well, my orange puffle has this book- Socks is carried into an ambulance. Jay: Socks, what happened? Socks: *is wearing a gas mask* My gas mask fell off after Unlucky disturbed the universe. Jay: Oh... Can I borrow the Orange Puffle Book of Reviving? Socks: Sure! *hands Jay the book* Use it wisely, otherwise it will- and you're gone. In a graveyard... Faye: What's this book called, anyways? Jay: It's called the Necronomnomnomicon. Socks says I have to use it carefully or something bad will happen, but I'm sure it'll be fine. *turns to a page and starts chanting next to Kris' grave* Suddenly, a bunch of food zombies rise from the dead. Jay: O_O Faye: You did something wrong? Jay: *nods* Sasquatch: *runs up* You didn't thonk yoh cold heve an epuhsood without meh, did you? Jay: *faceflipper* To be continued... Wingman: SEASON 3 MO- Jay: Actually, it's only Season 2. Wingman: Well, it's Season 3 of penguins.doc, which is a MUCH better series, because it has me in it. Jay: Hey, you're in all of the- uh, most of the- err, SOME of the episodes in this series. Wingman: Whatever. Jay: Snobot, remind me to get some green misty stuff that will magically throw Wingman off a cliff and prevent him from flying. Snobot: Sorry, sir, someone just outbid me on eBay for it. Jay: DANGIT. I hoped you liked episode 1 of Season 2... Just to be clear, I wrote this before Walrus, and I already had many of the concepts for this episode in mind while writing Season 1, so it has a similar style to the first season. Once I get three comments of your favorite joke, I will release episode 2. However, I will not start writing that episode until Beta gets three comments of your favorite joke, and I will not write it even if this episode achieves the requirements if Beta does not. Category:Blog posts